Okay, so obviously I am not a woman, and I can’t directly relate to the on-going suffering, mood swings, hot flashes, and constant demand of Godiva chocolate, but what I can relate to is how menopause has affected my life. So, this is a take on a man’s perspective of menopause to shed a little light on the other side of the subject. First and foremost, most men consider menopause a dirty four-letter word. Why? Because we can’t relate to it at all, that’s why! Our moods stand strong, unless our favorite sports team looses to a crap team that deserves their own trophy in the local boy scout lodge. However, one thing I can say, is that a woman who is going through menopause does not suffer alone, especially if they have a significant other.
The Exorcist Response
I don’t know how many times I have seen my partner do a full 360 rotation of her head when demanding a resolution to her question, and expecting a 4 second contemplation. Most of the time, I’m looking for a paper bag or at the very least a shield for the on-coming projectiles about to spew from her head.
Honey Do It Now List
We all have our honey do’s and that list doesn’t magically disappear once your significant other hits menopause. In fact, what I have learned is that if you have an on-going honey do list, you better start writing down deadlines on that list! And I’m not talking about monthly goals, I mean minute to minute updates on your project status. Trust me, this will save you loads of paper bags. See previous exorcist response.
Like most men, we like to be prepared and I can’t stress this one enough. If you are living with a menopausal partner, then by God stockpile an emergency kit. I suggest portioning out approximately ¾ of your garage or man cave to this project, because we are not talking about a small basket of chocolate. You need to prepare for a full on apocalypse! You want endless supplies of chocolate, foot massage oils, cases of wine, magnifying glasses, lube and so much more! Do you remember the boy scout motto, “Be Prepared”? Well this takes that motto to a whole new level.
Have you ever come home and wondered if your partner has been dabbling in the occult? Do they show tale tell signs of possession and you are not sure if you need to call a doctor, a priest, or a chocolate factory? Well I am here to set your fears at bay. Your best friend, lover, and life partner has not been taken over by the devil but instead may be suffering from…menopause. Most women report an on-going sense of not being themselves, often times accompanied by bouts of depression, anxiety and abnormal fear. If you are faced with this situation, then your first line of defense is your trusty boy scout stockpile. That’s right, you can fight the force with “emergency kits”.
With all jokes aside, menopause is a very serious issue that most women have a hard time coping with. Their bodies are changing, moods are affected, and their day to day lives are not what they use to be. So instead of trying to find reasons for their change, or butting heads on their on-going obsession of a topic, instead work with them to find the right support and encouragement they need during their low times and enjoy the all the wonderful wine and chocolate you have stock piled, because after all it is the end.